Doing art for the Phils!

I'm rooting for the Phillies to win this year's World Series. I also wanted to do a piece that pays tribute to the late Harry Kalas.

Shot A Video Sketch

Yesterday I had a lot of funny helping a classmate shoot a sketch he wrote. We shot it from 5PM to 10PM at this great office we rented. We used the hallway and the conference room. There were many talented people and it was a great learning experience. I guess I was doing DP and camera work, but it was mostly a team collaboration. Looking forward to shooting more sketches, soon.

Gearing Up For My First Show

I am excited to say that I will be performing in a sketch show in two weeks. After almost a year of improv and writing, now I get to dive into the performing aspect. I will try to be prepared in the next rehearsal and knock it out of the ballpark.

MY SNL AUDITION

WHAT IF BRUCE LEE NEVER DIED AND HOSTED SNL IN THE 70s

COLD OPENING

(sits down and pretends I'm tied up)
(Dan Akroyd impression)

GREEN HORNET
You'll never get away with this, Johnny the Gun! My ward Kato will be here to save me!

(stands next to chair)
(John Belushi impression)

JOHNNY THE GUN
Ha! He'll never get here in time, Green Hornet! Now prepare to die!

(runs to stage right)
(Bruce Lee impression)
Not so fast!

Start shadow boxing and kicking around the room. Runs to the chair and sits down.

(Dan Akroyd impression)
Thank heavens you're here, Kato! I thought I was done.

(Bruce Lee impression)
No problem, boss. (To Johnny) Any last words, Johnny?

(John Belushi impression)
LIVE FROM NEW YORK, IT'S SATURDAY NIGHT

DON PARDO
It's Saturday Night Live. Dan Akroyd, John Belushi, Gilda Radner, Bill Murray, Jane Curtain. Fast forward a little. Special guest Bruce Lee, musical guest Bruce Springsteen and the E String Band, Blues Brothers. Ladies and gentlemen. Bruce Lee

BRUCE LEE
Thank you. My name is Bruce Lee. I'm an actor and martial artist. My training dated back to when I was 10 years old in Hong Kong. I was trained in Gung Fu growing up. Here are some of the different attacks.

Bruce Lee kicks and punches, then fast forward to him saying, "We have a great show tonight. Bruce Springsteen and the E String is here". We go to commercial break and now we are in a saloon. I stand behind the bar and turn around.

JOHN BELUSHI
bluda doo woo ah

DON PARDO
And now! Samurai meets the man with now name.

Bruce Lee walks in dressed like Clint Eastwood. Cowboy hat, Pancho, and a cigar in his mouth.

BRUCE LEE
(gruff voice like Clint)
I'm looking a wanted man.

Pulls out a wanted poster and it's a drawing of John Belushi with his samurai make-up

We fast forward to the super bassamatic 75 commercial with Dan Akroyd. Then we go to Bruce Lee on main stage.

BRUCE LEE
Ladies and gentlemen, Bruce Springsteen and the E String Band

Bruce Springsteen sings a little bit from Thunder Road.

DON PARDO
And now! Weekend update with Jane Curtain and Dan Akroyd.

Fast forward.

DAN AKROYD
Jane, you ignorant slut!

We fast forward to Bruce Lee on main stage announcing Bruce Springsteen and the E String band. They sing a bit of Tenth Avenue Freeze-out and the Blues Brothers come out. Johnny Blues sings the second verse.

We go to the goodbyes and Bruce Lee thanks everybody.

(End of show)

Bernie Madoff's Diary Entry 2

Dear Diary,
The fall is near and it's starting to get cold. My bunk mate, Ortiz is hogging up all the blankets. He told me not to use the toilet because he was brewing some Hooch. I really had to take a smash, but if I use the toilet, Ortiz would beat me with a pillow case filled with bars of soap. My ribs are still healing from last time when I didn't clean Ortiz's shoes with my toothbrush.
Ortiz is thinking about selling me for a pack of cigarettes. The crazy russian fellow, Vic, has an eye for me. I'm to old for this crap. I don't know if I can keep up with all this. I must say that I am a bit happier than when I first started. I'm learning the system. I really don't have to do anything and I get hot meals, a bed and companionship with the criminal element. I feel like a don. A lot of times is bad, really bad, but I just roll with the punches.

Demi-God Feast

Demi-God Feast

INT. MOUNT OLYMPUS - DAY

THESEUS, PERSEUS, and HERAKLES are having a feast at a round table.

THESEUS
Let us toast for the many challenges we have overcome.

They toast holding up their wine goblets.

PERSEUS
It is perhaps a great day to share our tales of success.

HERAKLES
Indeed, Perseus.

THESEUS
There is one thing I wanted to clear up, my demi-god breatheren. I must say that I overcame the most challenging hardship, with less or no assistant from the Gods.

PERSEUS
I have slayed the multi-serpent-headed, Medusa. That should be the most challenging task!

HERAKLES
I have completed the twelve labors.

PERSEUS AND THESEUS
Shut up, Herk!

THESEUS
Alright, dudes. Let's be frank. I killed the Minotaur! And all I had to help me was a ball of string.

PERSEUS
Listen, man! I killed Medusa! That bitch freezes people by looking at them!

THESEUS
But you had all kinds of cool gadgets to help you. Hermes' Winged Sandals, Hades' cap of invisibility, Athena's shield. I only had a ball of string!

HERAKLES
I completed the 12 labors

PERSEUS
Nobody gives a shit, Herc! You were born with super strength.

Herakles bites his lips.

PERSEUS (CONTINUE)
I killed the Medusa and then used her head to freeze the Kraken! That's got to count for something.

THESEUS
Yeah! And how did you carry that head.

PERSEUS
In a magic bag. You know. The that lets me put anything inside.

THESEUS
You see! Magic bag! That's what I'm talking about, dude! Guess what I had when I had to find my way through a maze to kill the Minotaur? A BALL OF STRING!

HERAKLES
I choked two snakes when I was a baby.

THESEUS AND PERSEUS
SHUT UP!

(BLACKOUT)

Slow Motion Man

Slow Motion Man

EXT. PARK - DAY

A MAN and Woman is having a picnic. A VILLAIN runs up to them and kicks their picnic basket away.

VILLAIN
Ha! Hand over your goods!

WOMAN
Don't hurt us!

MAN
Help!

Everybody turns their head, staring at the same direction. They see SLOW MOTION MAN standing in a heroic posture. He starts to run towards the Villain and the couple, only he's moving super slow.

WOMAN
Who's is that guy?

VILLAIN
Oh, no! Slow Motion Man! Fool!

MAN
We're saved!

Slow motion man is still slowly running towards them, but he barely ran three feet.

WOMAN
He'll teach you to ruin such a beautiful picnic.

MAN
Yeah! Slow motion man will save us!

VILLAIN
What will I do? I'm no match for a superhero. I better scram and live to fight another day!

The villain runs off.

VILLAIN
We'll meet again, slow motion man!

MAN
He's gone. We're saved

WOMAN
Thanks slow motion man! You saved our picnic

Slow motion man is still running towards them. He's ran about four feet.

SLOW MOTION MAN
Dooon'ttt wooorrrryyyy aaaaabbboouuutt iiiittt!!

The couple packed their picnic back up.

MAN
We'll we're gonna go now. Thanks for saving our lives, Slow motion man.

WOMAN
God Bless.

The couple leaves. Slow motion man is still running towards them.

SLOW MOTION MAN
Tttthheeee dddaaayyyy isss saaaavvvveeddd aaaagggaaaaiii...

(Blackout)