Sunday, September 6, 2009

Bernie Madoff's Diary Entry 1



Dear Diary,
Today Rich Nelson was checking me out during lunch time. I can see the fire in his eyes as I tried to wolf down my Salisbury Steak. When I was about to start on the cookie, that's when Nelson came over. He was a large man, walked with a swagger with that plastic spork in his mouth. "Yo! You gonna eat that cookie mutha-fuka!" he said. I told him I was gonna eat it, he insisted that I give it to him but I was really hungry. "Alright, I'll see ya later, you jive mutha-fucka!" he replied. If it was my first day in prison, I would had thought that was his special way of bidding me farewell, but no, that was an indication that he was gonna come look for me during shower time.
So it was during shower time when Rich Nelson jabbed me in the side, so hard that I thought one of my kidney exploded. I fell on my knees and he said, "Take this!" I took it alright. I took all 7 inches of him in my mouth. I cried earlier tonight before I wrote this entry. I thought "Why didn't I just give him the God damn cookie." I wanted to prove that I was tough, but my actions proved nothing. So next time somebody wanted my lunch, I'll just give them my lunch and oral sex in the showers.

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