Mail Order Henchmen

DOMINIC DOOM is on the phone with the "Mail Order Henchmen" REP

DOM
Hey can I get a couple of henchmen. Mine got killed off a couple days ago.

REP
How many got killed off?

DOM
About 200.

REP
Who did it?

DOM
Jack Bauer killed about 100, Bond killed 30, John McClain - 10, I killed 30 for running away from a fight and Chuck Norris got the rest.

REP
OK. Unfortunately the 30 you killed can not be credited.

DOM
I know. I just want 200. I'll pay the difference for the 30.

REP
You ever thought about getting our super bodyguard specials.

DOM
Is that the one where it comes with a specially skilled bodyguard like Jaws or Oddjob?

REP
Yes. For every hundred henchmen you get, we throw in a super bodyguard. So you would get two bodyguards if you order from us today.

DOM
Nice. I really want Jack Bauer dead. He really put a hurting in my operations. He usually does more damage in one day than the other guys in a week. I got millions of dollars and resources and he's just throwing a monkey wrench in all my plans.

REP
Doesn't he work for the FOX Network?

Dom
Yea.

REP
Why don't you just buy out the network and fire him. Or have him work for you.

DOM
You know what? Maybe I will. Thanks.